Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Truth about Reconciliation

There are just as many things that can get in the way of saying sorry as there are reasons to not accept an apology. Be it pride, stubbornness, ego or self-righteousness that prevents one from forming the words, sorry is often needed and rarely utilized.

If this were a phenomenon of our personal lives only, offering an apology or accepting one would not be a matter for Peace X Prose. But the business of contrition and forgiveness is global, and just as necessary an aspect of sustainable peace as justice.

Consider this the next time you face the unforgivable offense of a man leaving your toilet seat up:

The year – 1948. An already disenfranchised other-than-white South Africa learns that the Afrikaner Party has sanctioned a separate and unequal form of government to legally define and enforce segregation within their country. For the next 46 years, the apartheid regime determined everything from where a person lived and what places they frequented to who they voted for. Persons who opposed the unfair treatment were held as political prisoners, tortured, and in some cases killed for claiming what was rightfully theirs, be it land, rights, or justice. Following the democratic election of Nelson Mandela in 1994, a new South Africa emerged, one that bestowed equal rights on every segment of the population. An integral part of the country’s rebirth, The Truth and Reconciliation Commision, encouraged anyone who felt they had been a victim or perpetrator of violence to come forward and seek either reparations or amnesty from prosecution. Wrongs were publicly acknowledged; then reconciliation could begin. The process has since become a model for other truth and reconciliation processes around the world.

All this to say, as elusive as the phrases “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” can sometimes be, the end of apartheid was your indicator that it’s time to get over yourself.

Sincere apologies and acts of forgiveness take time, require openness and closure, and begin through the art of conversation. We at Peace X Peace not only believe this, we’ve made it our profession, and through the Global Network we share our proven mechanism for healing the world with others. Whether connecting Americans with Iraqis, Palestinians with Israelis, or simply one woman to another, our Internet-based conversations are the foundation for a more peaceful world where spoken words, not weapons, determine our collective fate.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. You are speaking my language! Thanks for this post...

Stephanie said...

I agree that sincere contrition is the key to reconciliaton. While the South African TRC was a watershed event, in teh long term follow-up it also caused a great deal of traume to those who provided testimony. Also, the vast majority of testimoney was taken from victims and not perpetrators of violence. However, in cases where perpetrators DID come forward and confess and cooperate the healing effects upon the community as well the victims they directly affected were ASTOUNDING.

For tru reconciliation in post conflict countries, it is my sincere belief that reconciliation effort like the TRC should be accompanied by grassroots community-level (organic) reconciliation.

Also, post conflict countries breed conflict contries because trauma is not healed. These countries need a viable, sustainable and working mental health infrastructure. Preferably one that has not been imposed upon it by a (Western a/k/a American) funding nation or NGO - but one that serves the culture of the country.

Reconcilation can only be achieved with healthy bodies and healty minds.

Stephanie said...

oops - I sent that without spell-checking it -- I DO know how to spell - but, I obviously don't know how to type!

Anonymous said...

Thought provoking and inspirational. You are truly a gifted writer!

fourth sector said...

It is wonderful to see your voice. I'm glad you are still offering each month.

Thank you and missing you!
Jen G

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